Fatally Yours,

These music stock market sites allow you to download music for free or very cheap, and you stand a chance to make some cash off of it as well. Pretty cool!

http://digg.com/music/6_ways_to_get_paid_by_sharing_music

This is a fantastic idea. All gyms should do this:

http://cleantechnica.com/2008/08/27/green-gym-uses-human-powered-energy/

I saw this on TV a little while ago and it made me laugh sooo hard. Just found it on youtube and thought I would share it with all of you. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8Vh9_Hi1kY

How the hell did this happen? How is this okay? W T F!

http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=1509866014

http://geolounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/garbagepatch.jpg

http://science.howstuffworks.com/great-pacific-garbage-patch.htm

What do we do?

A messy situation has just recently resolved itself and my faith in people is momentarily restored.

Back story: In a string of increasingly bad decisions since she divorced my dad, my mom a few years back decided to marry a Puerto Rican man who had been in jail previously for heroin trafficking. Smart! I know. Anyway so they had a baby shortly thereafter named Alexia, who I love to pieces. A few years after Lexi was born, my mom's husband got arrested on a variety of charges including six armed robberies, heroin trafficking, and one other heinous crime that I will leave out for the purposes of a public entry. He was sentenced to a minimum of 30 some years of jail, so needless to say he's gone. His health had been very poor beforehand and he hadn't been working for about a year (he had chronic Hepatitis C and something severely wrong with his back and knees that caused him to need repeated surgeries). So he's in jail, and mom is incapable of doing anything. Due to mental health issues and an innate ability to sabotage herself, she was unable to pin down any sort of job (Wal-mart did hire her for one day before she got fired -- you can't not show up to the second day of work apparently). Eventually this landed her and sweet little Lexi in a homeless shelter. They were there for a few months until finally the government provided my mom with some aid, agreeing to pay her rent.

At this point I figured it was time to buckle through school and find a job because I thought there might soon come a time where I would be adopting my baby half sister. This was a point of huge internal conflict for myself for several reasons. I (selfishly?) did not want to have my life essentially demolished by a child when I had worked SO so hard to prevent having one that I could not care for. And I so desperately wanted to have a normal life. There was also a possibility that I would lose my boyfriend, since he was strictly against this idea.

In any case, my mom notified me a few months back that she was putting Alexia up for adoption. She described the wonderful family that was interested in her, a stay-at-home mom and well-to-do dad living in a nice suburb with one child, a little boy that was also adopted. The family was comfortable with open adoption, so that would mean Missi and I, as well as my mom, could see Lexi and talk to her, which made me so happy. It was idyllic, until...

Mister slumbag stepdad in jail doing nothing and being worthless decides that he's not willing to give up custody of Alexia unless someone on his side of the family is willing to take her. I would like to note here that I have visited all of his family members. They live in the shittiest part of Milwaukee (we had to leave last time because there was a shooting in the street) and half of them don't speak english at all. It is infuriating to me that a piece of shit human being who has committed the crimes my stepdad has and is not working or contributing at ALL to Alexia's upbringing gets to have a say in her life. It is also unbelievable that someone could be so proud or spiteful as to wish such a horrible upbringing upon an innocent child who's life has already been hell. The people working on this case decided this was a valid claim and so it was decided that she would go to my stepdad's sister, who my stepdad had coerced into agreeing.

So I prepped to mobilize. I obtained the numbers of EVERYONE involved in the case and began working on arguments. I went over to my mom's house and gave her a serious pep talk, something along the lines of "if you let this happen to that little girl, I will fucking disown you". I once again got the fun of chasing myself around in circles in my brain, trying to decide if I should take Lexi. And then I received a call from Missi:

The case worker that was handling this whole thing had evaluated everyone in my stepdad's family. The sister that had agreed to take Lexi did not speak english, nor did her husband, and the case worker deemed this an unfit situation for a child who understandably has some emotional issues and will need a special touch. The only sister of my stepdad's that did speak english would have had to quit her job and buy a new house in order to accommodate Lexi. And so the case worker decided that it wouldn't work and just like that, it was resolved.

So Alexia's new family is picking her up on Saturday. We are doing a sort of group outing with them on Friday (if I can get off work). And I'm just so relieved and happy that my now six year old sister is finally going to get the good life that she deserves.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-wi-daycareassault,0,7565553.story

Well I don't know how many of you are still around or still read this. But I thought I'd give an update. I miss journaling. :)

I am approaching the finish line for my degree in Computer Information Systems. I am taking my final class for the major over this summer, and then I will be done!!! My class is a project creating web functionalities for APCC. Doing most of it online, which is nice 'cause then I can be at home or in Whitewater or up north or anywhere I want to be, really.

But more excitingly, I got a job! A real, salaried, benefits package job. I've been hired as a technical designer by Plain Black Corporation out of Madison, WI. They are the creators of WebGUI, which is a CMS. I got some great sign on benefits, including:

- A brand new, fully loaded Mac Book Pro. And when I say loaded, I mean LOADED. GeForce 8600M GT 512 MB vid card. 2.5 GHz dual core processor. 2 GB RAM. Full Adobe creative suite. <3333
- A super swanky headset, since I conduct my conference calls using Skype

And yeah. My job is a telecommute position. That means, I don't have to drive to work, and I can sit at home in my pjs making fat cash. AND my first jobs are already unbelievable. I'm working on two things:

- HTML prototypes of new pages for a US Department of State alumni site (something I love doing, 'cause you can make things pretty that appear functional, but they don't actually have to be fully functional, which = rule)
- I haven't quite started working on this yet, but I will be working with another woman on the web site america.gov. For those of you too lazy to check that site out, let me sum it up for you: home page for the United States of America. Unbelievably high profile for my first job.

So yeah. Let's see, what else. Missi is living with me, which is awesome. My mom is pretty much crazy and is now trying to give away Alexia. Family is very proud of me for graduating. Moving in with Matt at the end of August. Gonna live in Whitewater while he finishes his degree, and then who knows? :D

Anyway, I miss everyone and hope you're all doing well. <3

PS - Go see Sex and the City. It is an awesome movie. Seriously.

Yay its my last day of work for the summer!  I get to go home and be freeeeee!  :D

man the end of that survery was depressing.  So!  I finally found a Starbucks Iced Coffee after three works of searching and I am very very happy.  :)  Also, getting my hair whacked after work today so it looks something like this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/tlove/medium_hairstyles_30_02.jpg

So excited!

so yeah last night, couldn't sleep for shit.  Tried to go to bed around 2am, and ended up tossing and turning 'til 6:30 am.  Which made getting up at 7:30 for work oh-so-fun!  Gaaaah.  

In other news, I have an exciting wedding to go to and I got an adorable dark brown and pink polka dot dress to wear to it.  So excited!  Matt's mom is taking me for a pedicure (my first ever!) on Friday morning, and I'm also in the process of getting a hair appointment set up so that someone can properly whack my hair (currently its short but a veritable mop).  Anywhoo gonna finish watching the progress bar for this OS install crawl across the screen.  Oh how I love my job.  -.-

( Surveys are fun! )

THE WHOS;
1. Who is in the room with you?
My coworker Adam.  He so knows I'm not doing anything of value...lol

2. who was the last person to text you?
Matt

3. Whos house did you last go to?
Matt's

4. Who was the last person you told you love them and meant it.
lol....this is getting redundant.  Matt, of course!

THE WHATS;

6. What was the last thing you did?
Well I've been dicking around on the internet for about an hour...so you know.  XD

7. What color pants are you wearing?
Khaki

8. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
A printer

9. What are you wearing on your feet?
Plaid ballet slipper shoes!  Oh so cute.

10. What instant messaging service do you use?
AIM

11. What is your favorite website?
I spend way too much time on facebook.  :)

12. What is your favorite pair of shoes?
Probably my black ballet shoes...they are uber comfy.

13. What do you wear more: jeans or trackies?
Jeans, definitely

14. What is the last movie watched?
V for Vendetta

15. What do you currently hear right now?
My boss very subtly implying to someone that they are an idiot

16. When is your birthday?
December 9

17. When did you last go to the mall?
Couple weeks ago with the boys...surprisingly I didn't buy anything and they did

18. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
Around Sara's bday, so beginning of May

THE WHERES;

20. Where is your favorite place to be?
Out in Harrington riding bikes with my love :)

21. Where is your cell phone?
In my awesome new purse!

22. Where is your mom?
I...uh...I don't know actually.  Last I heard she was getting evicted so I have no idea where she is right now.  o.O

23. Where do you sleep?
At Matt's, at home, in Mike's huge beanbag in Whitewater...lots of places!

24. Where do you shop the most?
Probably Maurices

25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Kohl's

26. Where in your house are you?
I'm...at the office.  At my desk.  :)


THE WHYS

28. Why did you fall in love with the one you love or have loved?
Because he is silly, sweet, ridiculous, nerdy, intelligent, and can always make me smile.

29. Why does, basically, half the world have myspace?
Because no one has anything to do at work!

30. Why did you pick your LJ user name?
A long time ago I found a latin to english dictionary online and it said lorum meant thong...I highly doubt it actually does, but apparently it struck me as amusing and I made it my name

31. Why did you pick your background?
Well..its plain black.  I dunno, it looks neat!

32. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Because I love him :)

But instead they made me come into work again...hurrah!  Oh and Matt felt the need to keep up 'til past 4 am last night, which made getting up at 8 am so much fun!  H888888.

But anywhoo so here's what's up with me: I'm home for the summer working as a tech bitch for the county.  Going back up to Point in the fall for what is hopefully my last year of school.  Got a job interview tomorrow morning for an on call IT support job for during the school year (wish me luck!)  Let's see what else....my sister goes to school in Minnesota now.  I'm still dating Matt and it roxxorz.  I play way way too much World of Warcraft.  And now, a survey!

What better reason to revive a dead LJ!  Here's a survey...woo.

RED = ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone? Nope!

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper? Probably mom, but in a crazy way

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? Yup!  Nice things like pillows and not so nice things like PS2 controllers :D

4. Does your face turn red when you're angry? Probably

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell? I tend to stare angrily...I'd probably feel better if I yelled.

ORANGE = EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? I'm guessing yes, but I can't really remember lol

2. Are you easily excited? Oh yeah

3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about? Going home and taking a nap!  THRILLING!  And the Andrew Bird/Peter Bjorn and John concert but who knows if I will actually get to go

4. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought? OMG I am so getting a new computer!!!

5. If you could have anything right now what would it be? A motherfucking Starbucks Iced Coffee...you know the one that comes in the little can that they supposedly sell at gas stations?  Yeah well I've been to 6 gas stations in the past 2 days and still haven't found one!  GRR!

YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY

1. Name: Tabb
2. Birthday: December 9
3. What's your main goal in life? To be comfortable & happy, and to travel
4. Do you want to have children? Eventually :)
5. How do you want to die? Quickly...none of that long drawn out illness shit for me kthx

GREEN = OPINIONS

1. Are you against gay marriage? No way

2. Lower the drinking age? Yes, only because no one else has a drinking age as high as ours...18 or 19 would be fine with me

3. Capital Punishment? Good thing, for the most part

4. Abortion? Personal moral choice, government stay out! :P

5. Democrat or Republican? Democrat

BLUE = LOVE

1. Do you love someone? Very much so :)

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? In theory yes

4. Do you believe in love at first sight? Kinda?  I think you can start to fall in love with someone at first meeting anyway....guess its more like love at first conversation.  :)

5. Would you tattoo your lovers name on your body? No ways

PURPLE = Q&A

Q: How many beds did you lay in today? Technically 2, since I was in Matt's bed at 2 am and then went home and slept in my bed

Q: What color shirt are you wearing? Black with white polka dot trim and cute buttons! 

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday? Laugh

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now? I have $0...don't carry cash usually.  :)

Q: Look to your left. Ooo my purse...exciting.  :P

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? Geez haven't borrowed clothes in a long time...probably a cute top from Sara

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? Probably facebook and my WoW guild's forum because I have nothing to do at work so I troll forums.  :)

Q: Do you have plants in your room? I have a dead cactus in my room in Point...does that count?

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now? Nope!

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in? Geeeeez....Chicago probably, a long ass time ago.

Q: Do you own a picture phone? Yes, a very shitty picture phone

Q: Recent time you were really upset? Yesterday when I had to go home...it was teh suk

PINK = LAST

1. Person you saw? My dad...he just took me to lunch :)

2. Person that said they loved you? Matt  <3

3. Movie watched in cinema? ZOMG Harry Potter!

4. Song you listened to?  Some Murder by Death song

5. Person you talked on the phone with? Sara maybe?


GREY = TODAY

1. What are you doing right now? Pretending to work!  All my furious typing makes them think I am very busy :)

2. What are you doing tonight? Hanging out with Matt and his family, probably raiding Karazhan or something nerdalicious like that

3. What are you going to eat? Something delicious!

4. Did you accomplish anything today? I managed to drag my extremely exhausted self out of bed and drive all the way to work without crashing due to falling asleep...I consider that a very large accomplishment  XD

5. What shoes are you wearing? Black ballet shoe thingers with red and white decorations (skulls and stuff)

BROWN = TOMORROW

1. Is? My day off!  YAY SLEEP!

2. My plans are? Sleep in, be a bum, then drive up to Point to prepare for my interview Friday morning :)

4. Any TV show you watch coming on? Results show for "So You Think You Can Dance"...but I don't actually watch those, 'cause they're boring...I really only like it when they dance haha

5. Do you know what you will eat? Something delicious!



Anyway hope everyone is doing well....gonna go find other things to amuse myself with.  :D

The stupid fucking Cupid meme that myblueaccordian has up won't work for me. RAGE.

So hey. Here's something I haven't done in a long time. Updating the LJ! WOOOO! I think I will do my 50 things I learned in 2005.

1) College is still very hard.
2) College is still made harder by lack of attendance.
3) I can not spend an entire summer living on my credit card.
4) There is life after Matt!!!
5) No, really!
6) I am destined to a major of geekish proportions.
7) World of Warcraft is shiny.
8) SEX IS THE BEST THING EVER
9) Getting to fall asleep next to someone you love is the second best thing ever. :)
10) There are different kinds of love.
11) I miss my sister. :(
12) Dating someone in a different stage of life than you can be very frustrating.
13) I can't just sit on my ass and eat whatever I want anymore. These actions make me gain weight and look flabby.
14) Marijuana is not the devil.
15) Organized religion might be the devil, though.
16) I'm still capable of making new friends.
17) I am not so good at making girl friends.
18) I miss dance and being social and a lot of other elements of what I now consider my 'old life'.
19) I really really miss being outside. And actually doing things out there. Like hiking, swimming, camping, etc.
20) Being an adult fucking blows ass.

Okay well that's 20. And I'm tired and want to talk about other things, so fuck it, I'm done for now.

Life is so weird now. Everything is changing so fast. Amber has a boyfriend and doesn't want to kill the world, Nicole has a boyfriend and they're moving in together, I just feel like sometimes, my process of maturing is sort of...stuck. I dunno. I'm ready for a real job and a real life and to not look like I'm 15.

Hey just so you all know I crashed a golf cart into a parked car and gave John a concussion.

ALK TRIO CONCERT TOMORROW! WOOO!

So Jena called me tonight, sobbing because Matt said he didn't think he wanted to be with her anymore. And it was absolutely terrifying and heart wrenching to hear her saying the exact same things I said two years ago.

"I just want him to know what he wants, so I can give him that, or make sure he gets it."

She quoted me, word for word, on that one. Its almost as painful to watch her go through this as it was for me to go through it. I really like Jena, and personally I think Matt's making a mistake. I don't think Matt is a scumbag out to weave a web of lies and engulf all these women, but he can't seem to see past the end of his nose when it comes to contemplating the future, or he does but doesn't see the whole picture.

But I don't want her life to be a mess for years on end because of him like it was for me. Looking back at it now, it makes me absolutely shudder in a mix of disgust and bittersweet farewell. But I don't want her to go through years of self-doubt and failure and I know she will because at her core, she is almost exactly like me.

I feel so bad for her. And for him too, because I don't think even he knows why this stuff happens, and its all just...messy.

Check out my new buddy, kids! He's got a sweet setup. I <3 him.

( Bartholomew! )

Edit: Resized the photo so you guys would quit bitching. XD